About average for me...

Ok. first post for 8 months. Thats about par for the course for me. I'm so lame at blogging, I'd give it up if there weren't that small part of me that REALLY enjoys writing rubbish for other people to read (or, of course, not read). I like to think if I wasn't doing youthwork I could be a top quality writer, maybe a columnist or sports reporter for a classy paper or magazine - and of course I still hold on (in the still small centre of me) to the belief that there is a cracking novel within me. I will be a published author one day. Or of course not.

To be honest I'm blogging now cos I'm not feeling motivated to do anything more constructive. Might go for a run later. Might not. Really should finish putting together a letter for the young poeple coming to Soul Survivor with us next week, but I bore myself sometimes with the admin side of youthwork. I know I should be more disciplined with myself about it, but... well, actually there's no but. Thats it, I should be more disciplined. End of story.
Doesn't make for such an entertaining blog entry though! Maybe I should make out like its this big struggle thing thats dominating my life, an epic battle, a tug of war between my desire to be a lazy sod and my calling to youthwork - yes... and then I can call my blog "Struggle" or something similarly snappy and eyecatching. Then over the course of the weeks I can log my attempts to actually do something useful in my office, all the while, ironically, not actually doing anything bccause I'm too busy blogging. yes. This sounds like a good idea. Of course its rubbish though, I just need to remember what I'm working for and not focus on what I'm actually doing. And thats the biggest danger in any kind of christian ministry I guess (although, natch, can't claim to speak with any degree of authority about any area of ministry other than youthwork, and even then the authority I speak with is rather lame - a local parish council level of authority I'd suggest if you want it contextualised!) distinguishing between what you do, and why you do it. In my situation it can be expressed more clearly in this example - I run 3 youth groups during school term-time, and we do many activities (some better planned than others!) and games. And so although it seems that the bulk of my time is spent with organising/preparing/clearing up these activities it shouldn't be my main focus. Although in my weaker moments (when I'm awake) it is often the case that my attention and thoughts are directed to these tasks...
All of which is a rather convoluted way of saying that without God at the centre of what we do in our christian lives (and I wouldnt limit it to church or christian "workers"- because I believe that this applies to all of us in our everyday lives, not those fortunate and lucky enough to be paid to do what we would want to do anyway!) we rapidly become focused on the external, worldly side of things, and miss out on what Gods doing. The practical is important - doing things properly and professionally can be, and should be, an act of worship - but as the old incident at chéz Martha, Mary and Lazarus reminds us there is a better way...

Ok. That'll do for today (and, if past form is anything to go by, probably this year!). Just enough time to fill you in on some minor info. Its my birthday in a few weeks, and I've decided that I wish to keep tropical fish. I need a hobby, and this is to be mine (if I dont get bored of it). And so I hope to receieve much fish-relate paraphenalia, so if you want to get me soemthing, you know what to do!
Similarly, my cd collection now reaches monumental proportions - top albums of the moment are the new Muse one, the legendary Johnny Cash with American V (which is a fantastically beautiful piece of work, with added poignancy as well as musical excellence) and one by a fantastic worship leader Martyn Layzell (who blogs as well) called Turn My Face. This is the first album for a few years from him, and it doesnt disapoint. He's always been a worship leader I particularly "enjoy" - partly I suspect because his songs seem to be written in good keys for me to sing, and also because he uses chords on his guitar that are simple enough for me to play. Oh and the lyrics are good and I can engage with them very easily as well. Natch. Cos its not about me. Its about God you see, and just cos I can play or sing a song doesn't make it any better than any other. Oh no. Ahem. But seriously I love the album. Buy it.

Ok. enough drivel. I will post some more about music soon. Or not. (I will also find a new literary gag that doesn't involve following every statement with "or not. etc.") (Or not.) (Sorry)

May God bless you gentle reader.
J